In a shocking revelation that has sent shockwaves through the geriatric world of leisure sports, insider sources have confirmed that pickleball, the beloved game of table-less ping pong players and retirees, was in fact invented by bored orthopedic surgeons with a devious agenda. It seems the pickleball craze may have been nothing more than a cunning ploy by the medical community to drum up business.
According to our sources, a group of orthopedic surgeons back in the 1960’s (associates of Joel Pritchard and Bill Bell, the supposed original creators of pickleball) were faced with a decline in business due to the economic recession as well as the overall health and fitness of their patients. These doctors devised a sport that would guarantee a steady stream of injuries and, of course, cash money.
"It's diabolical, really," remarked Dr. Marcus Wrench, a whistleblower within the orthopedic version of the Illuminati. "They realized that by creating a sport that appears harmless but actually causes a significant number of injuries, they could create a business model that would set us up with patients for years to come, generational wealth to set us up for life. It’s like a never-ending gold mine for orthopedic surgeons."
Indeed, pickleball has gained a reputation for being a breeding ground for sprained ankles, strained muscles, even torn ligaments, fractures, amputations, etc. Yet, despite the growing number of casualties, enthusiasts continue to flock to the courts, blissfully unaware of the danger lurking beneath the surface.
Critics have pointed out the suspiciously high number of orthopedic clinics conveniently located near pickleball courts as further evidence of foul play. "It's no coincidence that these clinics seem to pop up wherever pickleball gains popularity," noted Dr. Jane Bones, a skeptic but a beneficiary and at best a bystander of the sport. "It's all part of their master plan to keep us in business."
In response to these allegations, representatives from the pickleball community have vehemently denied any wrongdoing, insisting that the sport was created out of a genuine desire to promote physical activity and camaraderie. However, their protests have done little to quell suspicions, with many calling for a full investigation into the matter.
So the next time you find yourself tempted to pick up a pickleball paddle, remember the sinister origins of this seemingly innocent pastime. Your joints may thank you for it. Or, you know, you could just stick to something safer, like knitting.