The Never Pickle Manifesto

Never Pickle is an anti pickleball merch company dedicated to creating a safe space for people in the pickleball and non-pickleball community to demonstrate peacefully against the rampant scourge that is pickleball. 

We are here to give voice to the people looking for a quieter world where pickleballers find their own courts away from the serene worlds of the other sports where they are currently encroaching. We must protect the sanctity of shared spaces and courts, and we must awaken our fellow brainwashed racquet sport friends. We will accomplish this enlightenment through a full out attack (in writing only) utilizing the weapons of belittling, lampooning, shaming, satire and sarcasm.

Let it be known, we do not encourage violence against pickleballers since they seem to be perfectly capable of injuring themselves regularly and severely.

 

Never Picklers of All Countries, Unite!